Spring came early in TN this year. The flowers have been in bloom since March. We've been enjoying something new every week.
The girls love picking bouquets and filling our vases with fresh flowers nearly every day. As a child, I remember that as being frowned upon. One of their favorite pasttimes seems to be picking off the spent blossoms...allowing new growth. Gardens certainly have a much deeper meaning than just weeds, picking flowers, displaying them while they're pretty, and throwing them out once they're wilted.
From brokenness comes beauty...
"So...how's the garden?" This was the question most often asked when people didn't know what else to say. How upsetting this was to me, because it made me feel as though Grace never existed. What our family had just experienced never happened. I absolutely understand the reasoning behind the reactions of others. I've done the same thing. I think that we feel a need to at least say something, so we talk about anything…in our case, this was anything but the life changing event that we needed to talk about most.
It’s o.k. to ask about the garden. Those who know me know that I like to play in the dirt. It’s been my “therapy” since I was a little girl. Please understand though how difficult it has been to hear that question. After all, who plants a garden when she’s 9 months pregnant? This isn’t some amazing feat by any means; however, when one has been faced with what happened next, how could such a question be asked? An emergency C-section (unexpected but excited to go in early for a change)…being told “She won’t live”…making unheard of decisions…coming home with a scar that doesn’t “heal” in 6 weeks… “How’s the garden?” was the last thing on our minds. If she lived, I absolutely would be talking about how the girls and I were out harvesting vegetables.
Grace's Garden wasn't the garden in question two years ago when our lives changed. That wasn’t even a thought until several months later. Asking about the garden was a way for well-meaning people to approach me...to at least say something. But why were they feeling a need to approach me? Because Grace died. So what did many talk about then? Anything but Grace. Now when asked, we can show these pictures and answer, "Our gardens continue to change and grow and bloom just like our family's faith."